AUTHOR STEPHANIE JONES PENS POWERFUL BOOK ON CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE

by Lisa Peyton-Caire

I didn't know what to expect when I opened Stephanie Jones' book The Enemy Between My Legs. The title alone aIarmed me when I pulled it from its neat packaging on the day it arrived in my P.O. box. Not certain what to make of this unexpected gift, I reluctantly opened the glossy cover to what I would quickly learn was a very important and shockingly honest book.  After reading one page, I knew that this was a story I had to read no matter how painful, how unbearable, how unbelievable.

The Enemy Between My Legs is not a mere story. It's Stephanie's lived experience as a victim of childhood sexual abuse beginning at the tender age of 5 and continuing well into her teen years. By age 13, the abuse had become a fixture in Stephanie's life and would spur a pattern of self destructive behaviors and choices that would follow her through junior high school, to college, and into her life as an adult. Contrary to what one might believe, Stephanie's abusers were not the lurking strangers we envision in our worst nightmares, but trusted family members and close family friends.

When Stephanie and I first spoke by phone just a few weeks ago, I encountered a confident, open, personable woman of great humility, spiritual fortitude, and an unwavering commitment to give voice to the voiceless millions who suffer silently behind the veil of childhood sexual abuse. She understands their plight in every sense, having kept her abuse a secret from her parents, unsuspecting family members, and friends for nearly 25 years. Like many victims, some of whom she highlights in her book, Stephanie's journey towards healing has been a long and often painful one riddled with trauma and a whirlwind of intense emotions including shame, guilt, and fear that others, including her husband, would learn about the secrets of her past.

When asked why she wrote this book, Stephanie asserts “I needed to tell others who had gone through this that there is hope and healing. I want them to know that the time has come to let go of the pain, shame, and guilt and begin a life of love, joy, and freedom. There is life after the abuse and we don't have to be victims".

Since deciding to share her story, Stephanie has met countless women, men, and youth across the country who share in her experience. She receives letters, emails and phone calls from victims and abusers alike all admitting to having been sexually abused as children,  many revealing their secret for the very first time.  "Growing up I thought I was the only one...I thought my family was unusual in some way and that no one would understand what I was going through. I realized quickly that this was not the case".

Child Sexual Abuse Is Not As Uncommon As We'd Like to Believe

Stephanie is also on a mission to reveal the truth about a subject that few people will openly talk about, believing earnestly that talking about child sexual abuse is a critical and necessary step to preventing it and stopping it where it has already taken root.  According to statistics, Stephanie’s story is not as uncommon as we’d like to believe. In fact, an estimated 80,000 cases of child sexual abuse are reported each year. Sadly this number does not include the vast number of cases that health officials say go unreported. Ultimately it is estimated that as many as 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 5 boys are sexually abused before the age of 16.  There are presently 39 million survivors of childhood sexual assault living in the United States today. (1) Stephanie Jones is one of those survivors.

"I cannot describe to you all of the things I have been through as a result of the abuse. I suffered for years with depression, anxiety, alcoholism, substance abuse, promiscuity...you name it, I've been through it. I struggled from one painful relationship to another, yet I was terrified of being alone. To look at me on the outside, you would never have known that any of this was going on, but it was. The impact of the abuse was so far reaching".

But this isn't the end of Stephanie's story. In fact, it is just the beginning. In The Enemy Between My Legs, she has managed to convey with honesty, transparency, and great candor her road to recovery and wholeness. In the process, her story has become what has been termed a "self defense manual" for parents and caregivers seeking to protect their children, and a "self-help guide for victims seeking freedom from the bondage of their past". Stephanie's work also forces readers to confront a number of 'taboo' issues surrounding sexual abuse in an effort to force private and public conversations and actions that ultimately save lives and affect real change.

"We can't remain silent on this issue. If we do, we can be assured that more children will be robbed of their innocence. We can be assured that more victims will become victimizers, and we can be certain that more families and communities will suffer unnecessarily. I've made the choice not to be silent and to create a new reality for myself, my family, and each person God sees fit to put in my path. I want others to know they can do the same".   --End

Stay tuned for our exclusive interview with author Stephanie Jones in the coming weeks.

Stephanie Jones is a highly sought-after speaker for schools, churches, and organizations such as the Salvation Army and Boys Scouts of America. After spending several years working for Fortune 500 companies and as a successful publicist, she opted out of the corporate world to become a child sexual abuse advocate. Having experienced sexual abuse for over seven years beginning at age five, Stephanie knows the effects it can have on a victim's life. For additional information contact 1.877.TEBML.SJ (1.877.832.6575), media@stephanieljones.com, or visit http://www.stephanieljones.com .

(1) Reference: Abel, G., Becker, J., Mittelman , M., Cunningham- Rathner, J., Rouleau, J., & Murphy, W. (1987). Self reported sex crimes on non-incarcerated paraphiliacs. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 2(1), 3-25.

Other Links for Parents

A Parents Guide to Protecting Children Against Sexual Abuse

7 Steps to Proctect Your Child From Sexual Abuse

Protecting Your Child From Sexual Abuse (American Psychological Association)

10 Ways You Can Protect Your Child From Sexual Abuse

What to Do If You Think Your Child Has Been the Victim of Sexual Abuse

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